Dead Or Alive Paradise Review: A Bikini Toll - Kotaku
Dead or Alive Paradise brings the lovely ladies of Tecmo's fighting game series back to the tropical getaway of Zack Island, a chance to collect and model increasingly revealing bikinis in-between playing an equally skimpy selection of mini-games.
The PSP game is a pocket-sized port of Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball originally released in 2003 for the Xbox, with a few tweaks from Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 included. Ten virtual women, nine from the Dead or Alive series and one, Rio, the star of various Tecmo gambling games, frolic about the beaches of Zack Island, playing beach volleyball, hopping on pool cushions, gambling in the hotel casino, and lazing about while the player takes pictures of them in a selection of swimsuits.
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Players must cultivate friendships by exchanging gifts with other vacationing girls and find a way to entertain themselves during their 14-day-long stay on the resort. They must also exercise great patience when playing Dead or Alive Paradise, a game that will test one's tolerance for sun and fun.
LovedCheeky Sensibility: Look, I know this is puerile, objectifying fare with really one purpose, to let the player look at ridiculously stacked virtual women in tiny outfits. This was something I had come to terms with when playing the original Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball, but was quickly reminded of while watching Hitomi and Lei Fang fellate an ice cream cone in tandem during the game's opening cinematic. That pre-rendered introduction to Paradise is filled with digital near-nudity and the actual game is little more than an excuse to offer tame sexual thrills. And I'm OK with that, because Tecmo obviously knows that too. I just wish there was a better game attached to it.
Guides: Having a built-in guide (Lisa) with you on the island and a visual "Guide to the Girls" of Dead or Alive Paradise, the PSP version makes fostering relationships and understanding the game's sometimes vague rules easier than before. The "Guide," which players can access before going to shops to purchase presents—tea sets, novelty volleyballs, toys, snacks, swimsuits, etc.—makes the guessing game of gift giving more tolerable.
HatedIt's No Pokemon Snap: Dead or Alive Paradise lets the player spend much of their time "relaxing" on Zack Island if they so choose. This usually involves a girl taking a shower, applying suntan lotion or straddling a tree branch while you snap pictures with an in-game camera. It's far less fun than it should be, as there's no reward mechanic here. Players aren't graded on their composition or skill in catching a certain pose, so it all feels pointless. Worse, the Photo Album viewing options are barebones. Viewing and organizing photos can only be done from the PSP's built-in photo view in the cross media bar. The photo options are a missed opportunity.
Tedious Mini-games: Dead or Alive Paradise's beach volleyball game is just as fun as ever, which is to say that it's not that much fun at all. The same goes for the pool cushion hopping mini-game, which is a series of button presses that's surprisingly challenging, but too slow to load for the payoff. Gambling in the casino, whether you're playing poker, blackjack or slots, is serviceable but similarly slow. And that's pretty much it.
Gelatinous Jiggle: If we're going to use the word "creepy" in this review, it's most appropriate for the slippery, sloppy and occasionally revolting breast physics that you'll see flopping Dead or Alive fighter flesh about in games of beach volleyball. I'm not kidding when I say I'd genuinely appreciate an option to turn this down with a slider.
Painfully Slow: For as tedious as the Paradise mini-games are, its macro-game—spending fourteen days on Zack Island, with morning, daytime and nighttime activity opportunities—is more grating. Instead of being free to roam the island and enjoy oneself in various frivolous ways, you're still locked into a rigid set of things you can accomplish during each day, which is to relax, go shopping and play some brainless mini-games. The loading between each of these activities and during dialogue between the girls adds to the pain.
I'm completely serious when I say that Dead or Alive Paradise is something of a disappointment to me. It should be an amusing romp, but winds up being frustrating and—still completely serious here—doesn't live up to its potential. Most disappointing is the photography, which is clumsy in its controls and doesn't offer anything of substance. For the collector of virtual things, Dead or Alive Paradise excels, packing in dozens of collectible swimsuits and accessories and hundreds of Venus Clips to ogle, but the allure to complete these collections is outweighed by the clunky presentation of the game.
At least Dead or Alive Paradise looks good, its most noteworthy accomplishment. But when better looking versions of the same game exist on the Xbox (and Xbox 360), why take this trip?
Dead or Alive Paradise was developed by Tecmo and published by Tecmo Koei for the PSP on March 30. Retails for $29.99 USD. A copy of the game was given to us by the publisher for reviewing purposes. Played through three visits to Zack Island and purchased too many bikinis to count.
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Dead Or Alive Paradise Review - IGN
When the original Dead or Alive: Xtreme Volleyball debuted on Xbox, it was able to rely on the horsepower of the system to sell the seriously disproportionate babes as attractive women that you creepily leered at as they sprawled out on the beach. On PSP, it's a different matter entirely. Thanks to the insufficient hardware and small screen size, the ladies in Dead or Alive Paradise come off looking like shambles of their former selves (though the wonky boob physics are certainly intact). That'd be fine, but the fact that the mini-games feel robotic and lack any online infrastructure to expand the experience beyond what's offered on the UMD condemns this one to purgatory.The story of Dead or Alive Paradise really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, but the designers at Tecmo did take a stab at offering some sort of narrative. You choose one of ten Dead or Alive vixens who then travels to New Zack Island for a two-week stay. Once you arrive for your tropical getaway you're offered a handful of core activities: there are three casino games (blackjack, slots and poker), you can snap photos of the ladies as they lounge around, you can play volleyball, there's the mini-game of pool hopping and there's the slightly ancillary and wholly arbitrary gift giving between your character and other island goers.
It might sound like there's plenty to do, but the monotony of switching between island locations, loading screens and short and not-so-sweet activities gets stale quickly. It might help if the island's provided entertainment was delivered in a functional and, more importantly, fun way. The volleyball feels robotic and slightly unresponsive and the voyeur-style photography isn't as heart pounding as it ought to be given the poorly constructed candy you're supposedly gazing upon. The best activity is pool hopping, but it's short and requires too many loading screens to provide sustainable enjoyment. The trio of casino games doesn't amount to much at all and the gift giving feels too much like a failed social experiment with artificial intelligence.
The one concession I will make is that pre-17 year olds might be able to find a guilty pleasure in Dead or Alive Paradise's naughty nature and ridiculous boob physics. I could certainly picture young high schoolers gathering together and ogling at the PSP screen's newfound curves thanks to DOA Paradise, but that in no way makes this a good game. Perhaps if you could have created your own girl and then traded gifts with your friends online, but nothing of the sort is included.
If only the ladies actually looked this good. I might be singing a slightly different tune if the in-game character models weren't quite so jaggy and featured more overall detail or if the loading screen wasn't quite so prevalent. The sound doesn't help at all as cheesy techno tracks on repeat populate the menu screens. Dialog is limited to the usual high-pitched celebratory exclamations that turn grating in a hurry.
Dead Or Alive Paradise, A Trailer Comparison - Kotaku
Tecmo is taking a break from Dead or Alive fighting games and releasing another Dead or Alive beach game. You know, girls with impossible curves in impossible swimsuits.
The last Dead or Alive beach game, Dead or Alive: Xtreme 2, was released in late 2006. Like the upcoming DoA: Paradise, the game featured girls on the beach and mini-games.
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Paradise is the third console game in the spin-off series, and the first to come to the PSP. The previous two titles were on the Xbox and the Xbox 360 respectively.
The last title, Xtreme 2, was not a very good game. Paradise has only up to go (unless the developers really blow it). Let's see how the new trailer stacks up against the last two — click here to watch Xtreme and here to watch Xtreme 2.
Click to view There is a new theme song and right off the bat, we have breasts, followed by a hardcut to ass. This is what the game about. The previous trailers feigned interest in volleyball and waterskiing. Sure, the girls were wearing skimpy outfits, but they were active! In Paradise, the first ten seconds of the clip is cluttered with five asses.
Then followed by, wait for it, boobs. That's followed by, yeah.
Where is the volleyball? The jet ski mid-air flipping? The PSP hardware might not be best suited for both breast physics and watersport physics.
But one girl climbs a tree, but does it with her bum sticking out. At around 50 seconds in, there is eating. The clip ends with a canoe. That canoe pretty much sums up this trailer. Dead or Alive: Paradise is to a canoe as Dead or Alive: Xtreme is to a jet ski.
Change is good. What has always made the idea of the Dead or Alive: Xtreme serious fun (the reality of playing these games is another issue altogether) is the playfulness. Yes, the eye candy was obvious, but if you thought the previous title punched players in the head with the sex hard-sell, Paradise is a Steinway piano of T&A following out of a second floor window directly onto the player below. SPLAT!